


Mundane Curses

by just_a_trashbag



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, I literally turned this in for a school writing contest sakljfdhaslkjdfhslakjdfh, from same prompt as the Cursed Idiots Q&A, i lost btw aslkdfjhaslkdjfhsakjh, kinda character death but see him again its ok, major character death sounds kinda sad but its actually really funny i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:41:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29336955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_a_trashbag/pseuds/just_a_trashbag
Relationships: Fred & God





	Mundane Curses

In the cramped and crowded apartments of New York, there lived a little boy named Fred. He was a huge prankster and loved to annoy people with his little antics. As he grew up, his love for pranks only grew larger and larger. When he was younger, people passed it off as childish behavior. But, as he grew, people started being seriously exasperated about him. Some would ignore him, thinking he wanted attention. Some would yell at him for being immature. Some, fellow pranksters, would join him and become friends.

Regardless of their opinions, he still continued being the nuisance he was. Whenever he went over to somebody’s house, he would mismatch all their socks. Whenever he went to the restaurant, he would steal all the candies given to the little children. Whenever he went to work he would steal all the pens in the office. These little things irritated the people around him so much that they continuously prayed to God, “Please get Fred out of here! Please get rid of him!”

At this point, God was getting extremely aggravated too. God couldn’t deal with all these prayers right now. God already had to deal with Satan sending exploding pillows every other day. So God decided to just curse Fred with something stupid to calm him down. God made him late to every event no matter how quickly he got there. Even if he camped outside the venue three days beforehand, some unexpected coincidence would make him late. This calmed Fred down for a few months until he decided to strike again.

Fred had known for quite some time that these people prayed for him to stop or go away but he never thought God would actually pay attention. He had determined that it was all God’s fault for why he was so late. He decided that this time he would be even more annoying.

He started with releasing a whole cage of pigeons in the middle of New York city. He would clog every toilet of any public bathroom he went to. He would drop ice on the passersby from his apartment. Once again, everyone prayed for him to be gone. This time, God thought that maybe the first punishment wasn’t strong enough. God decided that every time Fred went to a fast food restaurant, they would always get his order wrong no matter how clear he spoke his order at the drive through speaker. However, Fred found out what the curse was a lot quicker this time as he went to fast food restaurants quite a lot, the reason why God decided on this curse, and he noticed the pattern within only a week.

Once again, Fred decided he must strike back even stronger. He decided that he needed to be as annoying as humanly possible. He would blast music so loudly in his apartment that he would get multiple noise complaints. He would send people glitter bombs that would explode once they opened the package. When he went shopping, he would purposely move the items to the wrong isles. When he went to the library, he would check out the most popular books and doggy ear every single page. This time, God didn’t even need to curse him to get him to stop. Someone had gotten so pissed off at him that they decided to run him over with their car.

Unexpectedly, Fred didn’t go to hell for his nauseating behavior. Instead, the person that ran him over went to hell for murder after he died and Fred got to go to heaven. After God had convinced Satan to stop sending exploding pillows, the prayers about Fred started to become something of a stress reliever for God instead of the serious and grave prayers God would consistently get. 

As time passed, God started to get fond of Fred and when he died, God persuaded Satan to allow him to go to heaven instead of hell. Afterwards, when Fred found out, he was very happy and to express his gratitude, he annoyed God every day. God, instead of being irritated, simply replied with pranking Fred. Their battle of antics continued and they had become good friends.

The end.


End file.
